The Human Touch

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TEXTS CAN BE TOO IMPERSONAL: Its more considerate to discuss things – sending a text can seem the cowards way out.

For me, receiving a text used to feel a bit like a back door ‘chat burglar’ had got me. For instance, I remember my confusion and devastation when I read, 'You didn't pass the exam, you hadn't handed in all the written case histories', signed off with glum-face emoji. Really?! Thanks a bunch, that really hurt. Seven months of work, time and investment and no cigar. I needed at least a conversation to understand where I had mucked up – where's the lesson to be learned going forward?

EVERY FIRST YEAR UNIVERSITY STUDENT SHOULD BE AWARE OF:

Sadly, at Bristol University last year a student, Ben Murray, tragically committed suicide – part of this sad tragedy was apparently down to a teacher communicating some devastating news via email without any form of face-to-face communication; a young person is already feeling isolated and under the stress of leaving home for the first time and the pressures of new learning so human contact is key . When I heard James Murray, Ben's father, bravely explaining things at the Festival of Higher Education at Buckingham University in June 2018, it struck me that it was emotionally criminal to be treated in this way. Didn't Ben count enough to warrant a phone call conversation? Another factor was that the University wasn’t able to contact his family regarding any mental health concerns due to confidentiality.

SPECIAL NOTE: I am heartened to inform you that James Murray and his family now have got all Universities to offer the ‘Opt In’ consent at registration to first year students and returning students who now can have the opportunity to give their consent for their parents or guardian to be contacted if the University is at all concerned for their mental wellbeing – I urge all students to consider this lifeline because, speaking as a parent, we want to be able to care and still be there for you whatever and whenever as everything can be resolved.

If not for me, please do it in Ben’s memory. Help and support can be at hand, you just need to allow the Universities to share your information with your family or a guardian.

Good has come from this unbearable sadness and I am so humbled and especially grateful to the Murray family who have tirelessly campaigned over the summer for a new this ‘Opt In’ Consent to be put into action in time for the start of the University year, a key transition time. My son Harry has already opted 'in', meaning that his university will now be able to contact me if they feel there is any reason for concern regarding my son's mental health, which was not the case previously due to confidentiality. It remains the student's choice to ‘Opt In’ or out of this and for more people to share awareness about this new crucial option. SO PLEASE TELL A FRIEND AND SHARE THIS POTENTIALLY LIFE SAVING NEW CONSENT FOR ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS.

Harry, 20, explains to Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 that texts don’t cut it:

 
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Take a moment to pause in your day and take stock.  When I find things getting too hectic I often remember the poem ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling which was advice he wrote to his son.  I have ‘translated’ his words in a new poem ‘#If’ to offer sound advice on handling social media in today’s digital age.

If   : an abridged version of the poem ‘if’ by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you 

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too

If you can wait and not be tired of waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, 

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise.

 

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim

If you can meet triumph and disaster

And treat them both the same.

 

If you can bear to hear the truth you have spoken,

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

 

If you can talk in crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute    

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more- you'll be a Man, my son!

 

# If  : an adaption of ‘If’ written with relevance to today’s  social media by Karen kestrel

If you can quiet your mind within the noisy digital chatter,

Be Mindful and discern what's actually going on,

Know your Truth and stay true to yourself always,

While having compassion for others' views,

Take time to digest, no knee-jerk reactions, no instant-fix images

To be regretted in an unforgotten digital footprint,

Do not be persuaded into a texting piranha feast,

Be not ego nor insecurity led, let unfiltered selfies abide.

 

Envy not the mirage of glamorous lives on social media

Make mind free time and remember that we are not just what we think.

Don't yearn for Likes, nor be harmed by dark emoji's,

For both are in disguise and imposters of real feelings.

 

Don't give way to casual interviews, nor text in haste

As you may fall at the mercy of a cruel edit to fit another’s agenda,

Nor witness good intentioned digital group chat turned,

Choose to disengage with toxic exchanges, instead let your own moral compass guide.

 

Always engage your hearts’ voice to express feelings,

For we are all as one and have one thing in common, we are unique.

Nurture a good sense of self-worth that cannot be dented

Apply your intention into action to create momentum

That will see your vision and effort across the finish line,

The world is at your feet and the sky as limitless as your imagination,

Be an open reflection for another and know that you are truly loved.